I am examining how we, as God’s people, inadvertently frustrate or counteract His grace. The point of identifying the symptoms is to apply the cure. The first characteristic is the tyranny of the oughts; a persistent, prevailing sense of not being good enough and not doing enough for God. The second is self-deprecation; a continuous sense of low self-esteem in relation to God, leading to critical self-talk. The third is an overactive conscience resulting in a constant, though vague, sense of guilt and anxiety.

The fourth characteristic of frustrating the grace of God is being legal-minded and legalistic.

Please note that when I use legalism terminology, I am not referring to obeying the Word of God. Obedience is an essential obligation for every disciple. What I mean is an overemphasis on externals. I mean, going beyond what Scripture requires. The legal-minded, in effect, add to what God says and expects.

When we get caught up in the “do this” and “do not do this” aspects of our behavior and that of others, it is a move towards legalism. From my experience, people most often get hung up on the “do not do this” side of the coin. Here is an example.

The quest to be holy is often reduced to a list of “do not do this, or do not do that.” Biblically speaking, to be holy before God is characterized much more by what you do than what you don’t. Because you are set apart through Jesus in the service of the Holy God, what you say and do gives witness to His glory. His Spirit in you is a Spirit of Holiness.

Holiness is more than a negative concept. Are we to be separate from sin and the evil ways of the world? Yes. Why? In order to serve God and walk in the good works He has prepared for us. We are saved and sanctified in order to serve. Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God (1 Cor 10:31).

The legalistic person, however, is hung up on rules and regulations.

They are constantly adjusting their spiritual halo to gain the approval of God and others. They are sticklers for keeping what they see as the rules and regulations to the nth degree, getting lost in minutiae (see 1 Tim 1:5-7). The person experiencing legalism is typically impatient with others. And they are critical of just about everyone and everything.

Have you seen this at work in another? Have you seen legalism in your own life? When we give in to this impulse, we frustrate the grace of God. We find ourselves being reactive rather than active because we are overly concerned about what other people think. The legalist needs the approval and affirmation of others, so they calculate their performance rather than living freely and spontaneously in the Spirit to do the will of their Father in Heaven.

God’s way is that of repentance, not performance. He desires humility, not perfection. No matter how much one strives, God’s favor can never be won. His mercy, His grace, is given. And it has been offered to you in the death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus. That is good news! You can stop trying to earn God’s favor. You can relax and receive it.

The LORD bless you and keep you;

the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you;

the LORD lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.

– Numbers 6:24-26

The fifth and final characteristic of frustrating the grace of God is a state of anger.

Within the heart, a deep resentment is allowed to dwell because of unforgiveness. When we struggle to receive forgiveness, we struggle to forgive others. Mostly, this is unconscious; one may not even be aware of the anger and resentment until it erupts. The anger is the result of one or more of the above characteristics going undiagnosed and untreated.

Resentment can grow from the false sense of who we ought to be and what we ought to be doing: “I resent all the demands that Scripture makes.” It can lead to harboring grievances against brothers and sisters in the Lord who have offended them. And it is easy to offend them because they are typically very critical. The truth of the matter is, they are very resentful of a God and a religion of their own making.

Just think about what the enemy has accomplished. A person in this condition can foment division in congregations, causing hurt to others. Yet, how do they repent? They dare not confess that kind of resentment to God. Why? Because their image of God is the problem. It is not an accurate portrait; it is a caricature. To them, God is a harsh judge sitting on a throne, just waiting to find one minor offense so he can put you in prison, eternally.

Is your God an ominous IRS agent in the sky who is auditing your books continuously to see where you have cheated the law?

That is the image of God that leads to resentment and anger. In this condition, you are victimized by an inadequate understanding of God, His Word, and yourself. The consequences are bondage to what is called “sanctification by performance.” You are both enslaved and the slave master. “I’ve got to work harder. I should be better. I ought to do more to get God’s grace operational in my life.” And when you deny these feelings, characteristically, you are frustrated, moody, and, if we are honest, unpleasant to be around.

If you live in an ongoing state of frustrating God’s grace in your life, several things can happen. You might seek to break free from that constant irritation because you can only take so much. Resentment is often directed toward a particular church, its pastor, or the brothers and sisters you consistently criticize. Sooner or later, you either cause division or walk away.

Or you might try to bury it and cover your feelings in some other form of superficial stimulation, whether it be alcohol, drugs, illicit relationships, or maybe careers and money. Anything to keep you occupied so that you do not have to face what is within you.

Or you might break down. Unfortunately, I hear about this often when I travel to speak. I have even experienced it myself. It is all too common for missionaries and ministers to burn out. They have been burning the candle at both ends, for God’s sake. But by moving out of His strength into our own, it eventually catches up with us, and the flame consumes the candle.

Here is a picture from God’s Word if you are suffering this way. The flame that burned in the bush before Moses was the Holy One of Israel. His fire did not consume the bush. Rather, it was the place of revelation. Hallelujah!

Well, enough of the bad news. Does anybody relate to any of this? Well, enough of the bad news. Does anybody relate to any of this? Is it helpful? There are a few points that certainly hit home with me. I have seen each of these characteristics try to creep into my life. You could add your own things that attempt to frustrate the grace of God in our lives. I have not even touched on the sad things that happen in congregational life that can batter and bruise us.

What I am trying to say is this: frustrating grace is real, and we can do something about it once we identify it. Let us turn our attention from the problem to the solution.